The Lies I Need to Stop Telling Myself

Episode 428 Aired LIVE on Jan 18, 2023.

I often tell myself things I should be doing, or things I should be improving, or things I should be learning. But there are only 24 hours in everyday and we are supposed to sleep for one third of those hours.

I am teaching a class about self promotion on social media. In class I asked the students how they use social media. Most stated that they consume but rarely share. If they do share it is not their design work.

They said they were scattered and weren’t sure what to post. One student said he posts things he is proud of.

And I thought afterwards, if I waited until I was proud of something I would never post either.

Social Media and self promotion like any campaign should be planned. UH OH there I go shoulding again.

The question is how do I share what I am learning and not feel like a fraud or an imposter. If I tell myself I will start sharing when I don’t feel like an imposter, I will probably never start sharing.

But self promotion doesn’t mean I can only share the stuff I am working on right now.

I think of sharing in a different way. I am in different stages of different projects and different stages of growing.

Glennon Doyle said it well, “share from our scars not our open wounds.” This means I should document what is happening, how I am growing, but share it once I am on the other side.

Here’s another way of looking at it. If I share the process of a project on Monday, I need to be able to wrap up the story and share the final result, the chosen design, the solution on Friday.

Social Media is brutal in how it feels like people want the resolution quickly. We don’t want to wait for the next book to come out. We don’t want to wait for the next episode to release. We binge watch, listen, and read because we want to know how the story ends.

This week I break down where I am in a few different areas of my growth and I admit that I can’t do everything all the time. I don’t need to believe or try to start a project on Monday and finish by Friday. Some projects take months or even years to finish.

Tune in to hear how I am revising how I look at social media self promotion. I think this way is healthier. Maybe you can join me in trying to post differently.

Or listen here

Other links shared during the episode

The Urban Sketchbook:

Derrick Castle’s website:


[00:00:00] diane: So today I’m really excited. Um, hey Annie. Uh, I’m Exci and Josh. Um, I’m excited to have everybody. Thank you so much for showing up. This is, I’m Diane Gibbs. This is Creative Ignite, and today is what I call a rapid recharge. My goal, I have lots of goals. One of the things is that I want to have at least one thing that.

[00:00:25] Talking on doing a rapid recharge each month, and this is the one for this [00:00:30] month. I consider this a hard month emotionally or mentally. Uh, so I, I don’t know why may is, uh, mental health month may is like beautiful and sunny and there’s spring flowers and things. I don’t know. There’s lots of things to be hopeful for, so it’s easier for me not to be as depressed at that time of the year.

[00:00:53] I think January is Mental Health Month for, you know, For me, for [00:01:00] creatives Ignite. That’s when I do it. I started a new semester, uh, last week, and I’m teaching a web design class, and then I’m teaching a, a self-promotion on social media. And I’ve always had this bug like to wanna help people with self-promotion because I know it’s really hard.

[00:01:15] It’s hard for me. So then you’re, it’s January, you’re kind of feeling bad, you’ve made all these goals and then you didn’t do everything, um, that you. Wanting to do so then, I don’t know. And then you set more goals and then [00:01:30] maybe you’ve already failed or whatever at you haven’t done everything you wanted to do.

[00:01:34] It can be very difficult. So as I was talking to my students, um, we had a lecture and a talk. Yesterday and I asked them a couple questions and one, I just asked them how they use social media and maybe you can answer some of these questions as well. So I asked them what they thought social media was for, right?

[00:01:57] And there were lots of different things. We talked [00:02:00] about why it was free, which again, maybe y’all all know why it’s free. So I asked. , who are their social media influencer, influencers, influence, you know, not design influences or not creative influences, but how people are using, who are they learning from in regards to social media?

[00:02:20] And I think we just kind of learned from each other and they do too. And they couldn’t tell me any social media influencers, people that were experts in different social [00:02:30] media channels. And I was like, you know, we should probably learn from, from those people. I think one other question. What does social media do?

[00:02:39] And I think a lot of people, especially in this month, it can just, they’re just kind of off or they’ve started a new challenge and they wanna do it again. But it can be very hard. And one thing I noticed that my students were saying was that they, they consume a lot, but they don’t post a lot. And I wanted to [00:03:00] know why.

[00:03:00] And one. They feel like an imposter. And I’m like, oh gosh, that never goes away. You’re always gonna feel like that, you know? But they think they’re, they’re in their twenties and it’ll be, it’ll go away. Right. But I feel like, yeah, it goes away for some things, like I don’t feel like an imposter when I brush my teeth or I tie my shoes, but I do feel like it in other ways.

[00:03:21] And then I think back to other things that I’ve learned from other designers or other people who are just honed in on that social media. Maybe their [00:03:30] design doesn’t look great, but the social media. Um, they understand the algorithm and stuff. Okay, I’m gonna go to the deck. I saw this and I feel like this, I have a pile of paper on my desk that are like old to-do notes that I don’t think I’ve done something or it’s a note to myself.

[00:03:47] So I was like, but I don’t think give it as drowning anymore. I feel like I keep raising my hand. I can do that. Yeah. Somebody wants . What’s that? I can, I can do that too. And I, I, [00:04:00] somebody was saying, you know, saying, Today I was reading something, um, Robin Landa had posted on Facebook, what would you tell your 22 year, year old self?

[00:04:11] And my friend Mina had said to say No, and a professional no is not the end of the world. You don’t have to say yes to everything. Anyway. So I thought of it like, oh yeah, I’m reaching up, not drowning. This one’s not drowning. It was like, oh yeah, I can do that. You need help with that. I’m good. So I liked this image.[00:04:30]

[00:04:30] So I thought about these things. Why I brought up the thing about the social media self-promotion, social media class was because this is where I kind of started in this class that I’m teaching self-promotion on social media. I realized that there were some lies that we are telling ourselves that I’ve told myself and that my students were telling themselves, and I was like, let’s debunk ’em and I’ve got three lies.

[00:04:55] I’m sure there’s more. I know I lie to myself a lot. One is [00:05:00] that I can do it all. Is anybody else like that? That’s how I am. Four. Sure. You probably maybe are with me on you think you can do everything. And my mom has told me plenty of times that I am not Wonder Woman, but I kind of feel like Wonder Woman like this, you know, a little awkward, she, you know her totally.

[00:05:21] This would be me because the pants were too long, right? The whatever, tights or something. And then I just cut ’em off and they didn’t do a [00:05:30] great job cutting ’em off, to be honest. I am working on really being realistic and it’s really hard with a D h D. It maybe it’s hard with anything, um, but it’s really hard for me to be realistic about what I can do within a day.

[00:05:46] But there are only 24 hours in a day and we’re supposed to sleep tw uh, 12 of ’em. Wouldn’t that be good? We’re supposed to be asleep at least a third of those. Eight hours, right? So if I try [00:06:00] to do everything it means I’m taking one step, one step in the direction of that goal or that journey, but then I’m only taking one step and then I do something else, and I only take one step.

[00:06:13] So I can’t get very much done at all. And I think that this, I love this image. It just feels like it’s their, Aimlessly wandering because they haven’t chosen, either they’re not confident to choose the direction or, [00:06:30] you know, they, they feel like they’re gonna miss out on something if they choose one direction, and I’ve definitely been there.

[00:06:37] Absolutely, definitely been there. So, I think if you don’t, if you choose all of the things, all of the directions, you should be expect to be stuck in beginner shoes because you’re not spending enough time to really get better at that. This is something definitely I’m working on and I. Feel better that I don’t have to edit [00:07:00] my own podcast anymore.

[00:07:01] The other lie is that I’m gonna be bored if I choose one thing. Is that anybody that’s totally, I worry. Or you know, maybe if somebody else won’t do it the same way, um, that I’m doing it or not enough, well then I just need to make standard operating procedures and have a, you know, they go through those systems.

[00:07:21] So, but being bored. Was one of the things that my students said too. I asked them a couple questions. I, and I asked them [00:07:30] this on the second day. I said, what are you afraid of? And I think it’s really important. If I’m worried about being bored, then I’m afraid of something. And some of them said, imposter, I’ve definitely sent imposter syndrome.

[00:07:46] Um, but here is what I was afraid of in the past, and this is just as I’m looking back, as I’m doing some reflecting as I. Preparing this talk in the past, and we’re talking last June, you [00:08:00] know, last May, last June, July, I was afraid of making something ugly. I was afraid of wasting materials and I was afraid of wasting time.

[00:08:10] I’m not as bad about that anymore. I waste, maybe I don’t waste as much time, um, but I’m definitely better at wasting materials. Everything’s. in my sketchbook. I’ve gone outside of the sketchbook and on paper, so big, uh, movement forward. The other is [00:08:30] making something ugly. I have made tons of ugly things and I am definitely okay with making something ugly.

[00:08:35] And like Doc said earlier, we get out of the imposter syndrome or bega out of the beginner choose. The more we do it, the more comfortable and that gives us confidence. But then we’re gonna be new at something. . Okay, so now what am I afraid of? And I am not afraid of being good enough. I’m not afraid. I can’t read what I said.

[00:08:58] I’m, I’m not a, that, [00:09:00] I’m not gonna cut it like right. I’m not good enough to make it in whatever I’m trying to do. Make it as an illustrator, make it, I don’t even know how I’m gonna use this right now. I am just practicing and I’m doing a lot of that practicing. And so it is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Uh, if I just continue to be in the, was not, I’m afraid of wasting, so I don’t make anything, or I’m afraid I [00:09:30] won’t make it.

[00:09:30] I’m. I won’t be enough or I won’t be good enough. Well, I won’t be good enough if I never practice. So for me, I need to break the chain by practicing, by messing up, by making messes, and I feel better about making messes. And I feel like there’s, I can see progress now because I’m past that sort of beginner stage in some things, but I’m also embracing the beginner.

[00:09:57] So it is, I’ve said this plenty of [00:10:00] times, I’ve used the slide Columbia Times, I really like this slide. It is practice, not perfection. Definitely need this as a t-shirt. So then I asked the students, I said, what do you wanna be known for? And I’m asking you this, I would love you to put it in the chat. I don’t know why that big gray thing’s in the bottom, but it’s cuz of the InDesign.

[00:10:18] So what do I wanna be known for? They had a hard. . That was one of those barriers that they didn’t wanna say. They were like, well, I don’t know. I might get bored. So that’s that lie. So I said, [00:10:30] well, what if you changed it to, what do you wanna be known for this year? And that really like, whew. Alleviated one of my students was like, yeah, that feels better.

[00:10:37] I could, I could make a commitment for a year. You know, I could try to get better at this for a year. And for me, this really helped me. Like I always will tell Mario or whoever all my these, I’m gonna do this and I’m gonna do this. And I know what he’s thinking. He’s like, Diane, mm. We’ll see. We’ll see how many things you’ll be able to do, [00:11:00] but, so what do I wanna be known for this year?

[00:11:04] I’m just telling. . I wanna be a better illustrator. I’ve said this before, I can say this every year, but if I don’t put time and waste materials and try new materials or make time to practice, I will never be a better illustrator ever because I’m not. It’s just a pipe dream. I’m not really working. [00:11:30] Or how to get to being a better illustrator.

[00:11:33] I just wanna say it. So I feel like that a lot when little kids say something, they don’t really know how to be a fireman, you know, they’re not like, like, oh, I’m gonna make sure I can run really hard, you know, as a fifth grader or something. Right. Uh, Jen Close says she wants to be known for a witty logo designs.

[00:11:50] She’s clever. She uses those things in and those are the things that just light her up. One of my students wants to be known for doing [00:12:00] publication design in the fashion industry, and I That’s good. Right. Um, Janice says she wants to be known for as a resource for those who are handling or hand handling or hearing.

[00:12:15] Hmm. Oh, they’re handling a hearing loss diagnosis. Definitely. That’s good. Obviously I have a reading diagnosis that’s a problem here. Um, doc says, how many of you struggle to separate being known for something as a [00:12:30] professional and as a person? Okay. That is part of it. So I made them. . I didn’t include this in this, but I made them, they have these questions to an ask.

[00:12:40] Maybe I’ll plop these in the bottom of this, uh, this post on creatives Ignite. But, so I wanna be known as being joyful. That’s a person thing, not necessarily just a professional thing. And some of them did say stuff, they were like, I wanna be known as being easy to work with. I love that. I absolutely [00:13:00] love that part of what we.

[00:13:04] I think is, is who we are as a person, is part of who we are as a professional anyway, so I wanna be a better illustrator now when I compare myself to Doc. Hmm. There’s no way I’m never gonna do it. I might as well just close the door to that, but I’m gonna be a different illustrator than Doc is cuz Doc, you’re a great illustrator.

[00:13:25] More wants to be known for License Dart. Okay, so then, [00:13:30] This is the thing if you wanna, okay. Diane, you wanna be a better illustrator. Great. Isn’t that a little too broad? Yeah, it’s a little too broad. Okay. All right. Let’s, let’s see what else we can do. How can I refine it? So this kid is outside looking at a bakery and they’ve been told they can, um, they can choose one cookie, but they, they sit there for a long time because, It’s it.

[00:13:59] They wanna [00:14:00] choose the right cookie, but this is not the only day you get to choose a cookie. You can choose another cookie tomorrow, but if you’re trying to get better at something, maybe you choose the same cookie, the same illustration, the same iterations on the things that you’re working at. For a period of time so that you can get better.

[00:14:19] It can be a period of time, it can be a till. You get to this stage, and we’ll talk about that in a second. You have to narrow the focus. [00:14:30] Oh, you have to narrow your focus. Of course, that’s what it is. You have to narrow your focus to get better. Sorry about that. Hmm. You can only choose one. You can only choose one thing.

[00:14:41] So Diane, it’s just for the year or for six months or whatever time period or whatever skill level I want to attain to be able to get to, that’s how long it’s gonna be, and I have to choose it for me. You have to choose it for you. If at one point you are. Or you are making something ugly, [00:15:00] I would say don’t give up.

[00:15:01] Your good stuff’s coming right after. I believe that. What do I like? Okay, write this down. This, this is the next question. Now I’m gonna write down, so I, I haven’t really refined yet. I know I wanna be a better illustrator, but I’m all over the place. I draw people and I. Faces and I draw dogs and I draw couches, and I draw trees and landscapes and plants.

[00:15:27] It’s all over the place. So [00:15:30] what do I like? Write it down. See what you continually come back to. Now if you know me, I draw rocks. I don’t know if there’s a. A field out there for rock drawing maybe. I think it might be a little limited. So I decide, okay, I like the natural world, so I’m gonna, I’m gonna work on trying to draw trees and plants and landscapes better.

[00:15:57] So I started with something small [00:16:00] trees. In January, I’m just working on trees. I gave it a a date, but I can extend it to February. I’m making the rules. I am going to get better at drawing these things this year. Hopefully by the end of the year you’ll be able to see a difference in how I execute it or that I’m able to execute many different styles of trees or one style.

[00:16:22] I’m able to do really well and I’m able to execute it quickly when I’m given a project. [00:16:30] I’m known for drawing trees and plants and landscapes so much that I actually start getting work for some of that, that would be a, a sign of success to me. But even if I don’t ever get work in it, um, or create something and people buy it, is that I feel better about my ability to draw trees.

[00:16:52] and I have been able to see the difference. I am gonna wrap it back around to social media, I promise. Okay. So [00:17:00] I wanna be better at drawing trees. I wanna be able to draw trees, plants, and landscapes. Okay. The end, that’s what I’m working on. I’ve narrowed it down. It’s not super narrow, right? But right now, January trees.

[00:17:12] Now have I drawn other things in January? Yes. Okay. So know what stage you’re in. I think there. Four. I’m sure there’s more, but for me there’s four. There’s a learning stage and that I’m like baby stepping it. I’m like falling down a lot. [00:17:30] I’m getting frustrated. I’m putting things aside for, uh, pieces of time so that I can get confident in something else first.

[00:17:40] You know, maybe instead of playing soccer, I just work on running or doing sprints first. Um, so same thing. So I’m just focused on learning Then. There’s the exploring. So now I have found I’ve drawn a whole bunch of trees. Now I’m gonna explore different styles. So I had talked with, um, [00:18:00] somebody who I was mentoring and I said, I want you to draw a hundred of these specific, he liked a specific type of illustration style, so we already had a style picked out.

[00:18:11] I said, I want you to draw this tree a hundred times. But he drew a hundred different trees. And they weren’t in the same style. They were literally different treats. But the more you draw, if you draw your face a hundred times or your hand a hundred times, you will get better because your hand isn’t going to change that [00:18:30] much in the a hundred times that you’re drawing it.

[00:18:32] Hopefully, you know, if you’re doing over a hundred years, you’re probably gonna have a big difference. So exploring is now thinking, okay, well here’s a style I like. I’m going to try to execute multiple trees in this style, and then here’s another style I like. I’m gonna try to execute other trees in this style.

[00:18:52] I’m not quite at that phase. Maybe I’m just kind of all over the place. So I feel like I’m just in the learning for. [00:19:00] And then there’s refining. Say you have six different styles that you have explored and you’re like, I really liked this. There are some things that I have drawn or painted that are fine.

[00:19:13] There are some that I’ve sold, but I don’t ever wanna do ’em again. But I didn’t stop mid, I said, Nope, I’m gonna keep going, which has gotten me in the past. I have all these. Baked, you know, sketches or paintings or drawings and I’m like, oh, what a [00:19:30] waste. You know, like it’s a waste of the time. Oh gosh. I just realized I have a typo there.

[00:19:35] Anyway, so refining is deciding maybe one or two, um, of those six that you’re really gonna be known for and good at. So if, when I think about doc, I think about a specific style. He’s really good with people, really good with faces. He has a definite style. I don’t know if I have that yet. I’m kind of all over the place.

[00:19:58] What I like [00:20:00] and I don’t right now, I’m just focused on trees and drawing trees in January. So the last phase is that I am confident and I’m able to execute at a moment’s notice to the same quality that I’ve done, um, in the past in with a silent w. in this, where are you in the things that you are trying?

[00:20:27] I think it’s important to know, and then see when [00:20:30] you get to that next phase, and maybe you’re like, I wanna be at the exploring phase by February. That’s not a realistic thing for me, but by April I should be set on how I do. With the amount of time that I’m committing to drawing trees and plants, I think by April I have a style or two styles that I feel comfortable executing quickly and I can, I can draw them from memory.

[00:20:59] Right. Those are [00:21:00] things that I’m, I’m thinking, okay, so this is what I’m gonna do. Okay. I’ve made that. I’ve determined that’s what I’m gonna work on. Okay. Then Diane practice. The end. That’s what you need to work on. Okay, so here’s, I just want to show you how small I work. That is my hand, my finger. I am not a giant, so this is a very small sketch.

[00:21:25] I like this little sketch. It didn’t take up a lot of space, right? [00:21:30] I didn’t waste a lot of materials, but I kind of got an idea of just layout. So, okay, now it’s taking. Onto either another sheet of sketchbook or I’m going in, um, and taking it off the sketchbook. Oh, I’m not to canvas yet, but you know, here we go.

[00:21:53] Anybody do this? Anybody do these small executing with paint or whatever you’re [00:22:00] using actually in your sketchbook? I don’t know. This helps me. So this is one that I did again, it’s another small one. Again, it was from my, from my brains. I always think of thumbnails. Uh, doc said thumbnails, and I think of thumbnails as like black and white or like one color.

[00:22:17] Like we’re not wasting, we’re just working out composition. You would not use color to this extent? Probably. I mean, these are really small. This one was not in a sketchbook, you see? It was on. [00:22:30] Obviously just leftover paper from something, but I did this and I sent it to my, my parents . I mean, ooh, Diane, really going all out for ’em, but I realized certain things I didn’t like.

[00:22:43] I needed a smaller brush for those poppies in the field. Yes. And Doc says, uh, thumbnails black and white thumbnails lead to color cop thumbnails. Yes, but usually it’s telling you you’re gonna be doing something bigger. I never did anything . Okay, so [00:23:00] this is one where I’m working in gush. I’m in my sketchbook, and this is from my brain.

[00:23:05] I had a thing this summer where I felt very incapable of drawing from my brain that I really. Rely heavily on looking at something. And so every time I’m driving, I’m really looking at the trees and I’m studying these things now. So instead of just feeling like I’m, um, I’m actually trying to take things in on a [00:23:30] regular basis instead of.

[00:23:32] holding into that, that I need a photo of what it is. So I have a, a thing on my wall that is a field. I just love fields for some reason. And I think I was probably u using some paint that I had in my pallet in the top part of my pallet just to try to clean it off. But I was like, okay, well I’m gonna work on, work on this, obviously.

[00:23:52] I mean, this is the beginning phase, this is what it ended up with. I really liked it. I mean, it is small. , [00:24:00] you can’t really tell how big it is, but, um, it’s not that big. Were there things that I wanna work on? Absolutely. But am I using color in a new way? Yes. I still need a smaller brush for those, uh, lavender things in the, in the background.

[00:24:16] So something I, I actually ordered. Do you know what I ordered? I order. Obviously not for my fingers, but fingernail brushes, like I was like, what’s small brush that I could use? Anyway, I thought [00:24:30] that was a cool idea, so I haven’t used them yet, but I will tell you how it goes. Okay. So there’s that. And then sometimes when I’m really not feeling confident, I go back to something like rocks.

[00:24:42] Now I do these things, I just, I’m mixing colors. These are all still gush, but I’m using ’em really like water. And these are just in the sketchbook and I’m just making organic shapes, which I still think goes with the plant. These are all from my head, but they kind of like have a [00:25:00] cattail kind of thing. I probably would help if I looked at some cattails, I think, or some other kind of, Things, and I have, I’ve, I got a little book of wildflowers in Alabama or in the southeast or something.

[00:25:13] And so now I’m trying to look at some of those as I do this, but sometimes I just need the confident of making something that I think looks pretty. and there, there was this period of probably 20 days that this is all I was doing. It could have been that I was stressed and this is also [00:25:30] very relaxing for me.

[00:25:31] Um, I’m just gonna flip through some of these. This was kind of a later one. I had done something else and I was like layering on top. So I did the, the blue and the light blue, and then I drew some gray on top of it. I took my dip pin and I used, um, it for the gold and then the white was. Jelly, not a jelly roll.

[00:25:53] Anyway, you know, I mix my gush and this is just me mixing and trying to clean it up as I go. So you can [00:26:00] see in the upper, like up upper left-hand corner, there’s this brown, and then this is the brown and blue combined, and then it’s just the blue and then the blue lighter, and then. Maybe it had a little red in it or purple, and I just thought these were really nice.

[00:26:15] And I mean, I just have sketchbook that is full of these and I, I just liked it. So then I layered some on top of each other. So again, I’m just starting and I’m. . These aren’t amazing, but I like some of the colors. I like certain things that I found out. I [00:26:30] wasn’t worried about wasting materials or wasting paper.

[00:26:33] I am filling up these things and because I’m iterating, like I asked that kid to do, draw a hundred of these things, then I will see what works and what doesn’t work. But if I don’t ever push it to that limit of it not working, I will never know. So, I know Amy, um, Hasan and I both over. We ha we both have worry about overworking.

[00:26:56] She knows that I do it. She says she does it. I think everything she does looks [00:27:00] really great, but, um, it’s also from our perspective, it’s just not what we had intended. It may look great to somebody else, but I know it’s overworked. I know I should have stopped and I sometimes I’ll watch people on YouTube and I’m like, stop, stop, stop right there.

[00:27:14] It’s good. Like, I know when they should stop. But they don’t. But then I went to like a, um, a fountain pin. That’s not bulletproof. Did you know that That’s what that ink is called [00:27:30] Bulletproof. That it won’t like. Anyway, I thought that was really cool, but these are not, these are not waterproof. So I was using the water to kind of make some of the leaves look a little different, and I made these little berries and then I made like juniper leaves.

[00:27:42] I was looking at a book that my dad had, and so I was just drawing other types of. Foliage, right. Um, drawing trees in different ways. I really like that little birdhouse with those things. Anyway, that’s one. And then I did, I painted one. Um, I’m, [00:28:00] I don’t, I think I just made this up. Um, I didn’t look at anything again.

[00:28:06] Um, the washy tape is at the bottom. I didn’t do that cool pattern. Um, and then I just started making more things. So I have pine cones at the top here. I just made a big mess and then I started putting patterns over it. Because sometimes I just need to do something fun, but I did kind of like the iteration from those juniper berries that were on a couple [00:28:30] over.

[00:28:30] Now I’m iterating doing them in different way just with a, a different tool or a different, sometimes that’s all it takes. Just limited palette. Black, red, this blue and white. True with white. Anyway, again, here’s some trees. . I like the blue one. Okay. Not so much on the other one. And these are from my brain, you know, or watching someone.

[00:28:56] These are from my brain. You can tell. I just did these, um, [00:29:00] uh, you know, tint on the tent. So that was eight days ago. I know that’s not really a palm tree, and I have a weeping willow outside my house. That’s not what it looks like, but it, it is. At least I’m trying something again, I wasn’t looking at them.

[00:29:16] It would’ve probably been worse had I looked at them anyway. Here’s some more. Um, just doing it with like scribbles and then I went back to that, um, black, blue, blue, black [00:29:30] pin and added some more cause I liked it. So I’m seeing what I like and I’m adding some other things and then I’m pulling back and I’m stopping now at some point.

[00:29:41] I just really like those, so that’s kind of what I go to. Okay. Here is the big one. This is, I think I started this gush illustration maybe in October, is what I’m thinking. And I got stuck quick, [00:30:00] so I did this. I actually remembered to take process shots. I did this and it’s not looking so good. I know. And then it went to here and I was really stuck.

[00:30:13] I mean, wicked stuck in the upper right hand corner. It is. These feels of daffodil da, I can’t even say that, right. Daffodils. Daffodils is what I almost said, but the trees in the background. Now, I had done some. Studies, [00:30:30] you saw some with the, those tiny little ones, the little lavender field, and I was watching people draw trees.

[00:30:36] I watch people on YouTube or people on Instagram or wherever. I’m watching people and I just started seeking out people who were drawing trees. And then I figured something out. They were, I had a small brush, a small enough brush here I guess, and they were painting in some of the light. They didn’t, they painted all the dark first and then they painted the light [00:31:00] on top of it, which you can do with gush.

[00:31:02] Unable to do in watercolor. And this is why I love Gush cause it allows you to make mistakes. But at this was at some point, I was not sure I was gonna finish this painting. I think this is the finished painting, and this is from like a, a calendar and I said it was It was the March, 2021, like part of the calendar.

[00:31:27] And [00:31:30] this, I’ll show you it. Hopefully we can get back to this. This is it. It looks backwards to me, but I think it’s fine for you, but I, I was pretty proud and it looks brighter, I think, maybe than what it looks like on screen or when I scanned it, but I don’t, I think that this part looks much better than what I thought it did.

[00:31:51] It was a pretty hard road there. Um, and I, but I’m really proud with how, what that was just that I didn’t give up. [00:32:00] Now did I do everything I could here? I’m not trying to make it photographic, that’s all for sure. I know that I’m not trying to make it photographic. So then that was, I finished at Christmas and then I came home and I know, uh, Maura and Amy and John Engels and Debbie Clapper got this image because this makes me think of Debbie.

[00:32:20] I was like, this is, this is like God took and gave Debbie clapper all these lines and things that she does, and this is not that big of a plant, you [00:32:30] know? But I just was at Lowe’s and I took a picture and I think, Chris, I sent you this one too. I was like, wow, I just need to look more, look at these amazing lines.

[00:32:41] I just thought, I was like, wow, you know, like, I need to look at more plants. So I bought, hopefully I will not kill them, but I bought four plants that day. I didn’t buy that one though. I also, this is where I go, a walk, um, just down the road and I look [00:33:00] at the trees and I look at the trees in the distance, and I look at these fields.

[00:33:04] To me, this is just beautiful. Maybe it’s not beautiful to everyone, but I like it. This is the park. I’m in the park, the fence, right? And then that’s what I’m seeing in these, you. Oak trees and um, maybe there’s some magnolias in there, a lot of oak trees, some pine probably, um, and some other things. But this is winter.

[00:33:25] This is winter in Alabama. I think it was 70 like it is [00:33:30] today. Um, but I liked the sky. I like the golden. And then I’m noticing at the bottom of, you know, like in that far field that’s not been, There’s dark in the front, right? And I’m noticing things that maybe I hadn’t noticed before. So I also, this is a field.

[00:33:48] I know Jim Close has seen this. I think I show her this. I’m like, oh my gosh, look at this field. This a lot of times is cotton. This past year it was, um, I think soybeans or, or something. [00:34:00] But I love this field. I love how the sky, this is right before I turn onto my road. So this is Tanner Williams and this is just a field I pass every day.

[00:34:11] But I love this field and I love right now in January, I love how it looks. I love the green, green, green of that and the blue and the, the way the, the sun is, and the light is, I’m just thinking about these as. Um, as I’m driving, as I’m looking and then I take [00:34:30] a picture, it’s not a great picture. You know, I’m driving.

[00:34:34] Granted, I’m not looking at what I’m taking a picture of. I’m just hoping I get something, you know, but I can make it better. I can make it from my head. Everything doesn’t have to be photorealistic. And me and Paul have had that, um, had that conversation. If I want it to look like the photo. I, why don’t I just take a photo now?

[00:34:53] This one I’m not as, um, I, it’s in my sketchbook and I’m glad it’s in my sketchbook. [00:35:00] The, those are bison or buffalo? Hmm. Um, I’m not really as happy with the trees. I did this one while I was working on the, the yellow daffodil one, and I feel like I did better in the that one than I kept working on the trees.

[00:35:19] And I like the. Um, this is the first one I really like the field, the buffalo. Hmm. John’s like, what are those cows actually down [00:35:30] below? I see the, um, uh, I see I had p tried to do the buffalo small, you know, I mean, they’re really small. You can kind of see my finger there, but, But I love the colors of this.

[00:35:43] This was the, the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. It’s one of my favorite places on earth and I, it doesn’t look exactly, but it was a really dark, ominous clouds, and then these three bison. And I just love the colors, uh, in the clouds. I [00:36:00] love the colors in the field. So I’m taking notes of what I like and what I don’t like, what I would wanna draw again, and what I don’t.

[00:36:08] Now these are quick, these are quick studies. These are gush and I’m not really going back. I’m just trying to practice, practice with the color, and then I’m going to reflect on what works and what doesn’t work. And then when I get really upset with myself or I’m like, I can’t do anything, I’ll just start layering again, making these things that I’m just making up.

[00:36:29] And then [00:36:30] I think this is this week, um, I did these trees. I was looking at this book called Urban Sketchbook. The Urban Sketchbook. Yeah. And I’m just copying what they. These are not, I mean, I’m, I’m starting, I didn’t copy leaf by leaf. I’m just kind of getting it in general way and I’m using, um, a, a fountain pen.

[00:36:55] And then here’s some more. I didn’t do these exactly right. You know, they’re not [00:37:00] exactly like what they look like in the book, but I’m taking some liberties here. I’m practicing, and then these were pink in the book. I didn’t have pink with me. All I had was orange. And I was like, okay, well I’m gonna see what I can do with some of the tools that I have.

[00:37:16] This doesn’t look like what it looked like in the book, but I’m practicing. And here’s more trees. I really don’t like these trees. A bunch of the stuff at the bottom is just like trying to get my , my [00:37:30] brush to clear, um, and using weird colors. So I was like, okay, I’m gonna try Red Tree trunks just for fun, you know?

[00:37:39] And then layer on different things. I’m just trying things. You gotta try. This is in the learning exploring phase. I don’t know. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. These were yesterday. I did skip. I’ve already missed today, but I think it’s okay cuz Jack had a surgery that day. So I, I tried to draw, man.

[00:37:58] It was too short. He was too short. Some [00:38:00] of these are just, You know how other people were drawing these things from here in the middle? Can you guys see my, um, mouse? But anyway, this like little pine cone I did after I did this little tree. These were not in the same thing. I’m just drawing on top of each other.

[00:38:17] Um, but this kind of reminded me of that one that I just showed you. So I’m just trying different things and I’m also trying to draw dif different trees in different ways, seeing what. [00:38:30] Work. So I have embarked on a 365, I guess, 364 challenge of drawing every day, and I am focusing now on plants this month.

[00:38:44] I’m focusing on trees probably this year as just landscapes and things that go with landscapes, but I would encourage. To find somebody that you could do this with and you are just sending him a text. Um, this is how Amy Hasan and I started. We did a [00:39:00] 30 day, or maybe we did a hundred days. I don’t remember what we did in the beginning, but now, um, we send each other images and we have a couple other people on that with us.

[00:39:10] and we’re not necessarily posting these. John Engels is doing it. Maura is doing it. John Engels is posting his, his look amazing, and Maura posted good, many of hers, but we are editing them down. That doesn’t mean we have to post. We have to post our group 30 days. We have to [00:39:30] post to our group or the a hundred days or the 365 or whatever it is.

[00:39:33] But it doesn’t mean you have to post the world. Right? You’re figuring it out. Figuring out where. where you are and once you get to the thing that you want, like I was telling my students, then, then you can start posting. So maybe some of the things, lie number three is, um, I have to post what I’m working on right now.

[00:39:55] Right? Well, we can’t always, we have N D A non-disclosure agreements. [00:40:00] Um, we have other things that we are not able to post. So, Should we not take photos? Should we not take process of that thing? No, you should. Derek Castle. Talked about the way he posts and I absolutely love what he said. He posts every week pretty much.

[00:40:19] He ha goes back and looks at old work. He starts Monday with the process or doing some initial sketches. Wednesday he posts. Um, and [00:40:30] I don’t know if this is how he still does it, but this is how he did it in the past. He straw castle on most, um, platforms on Wednesday. Post, uh, more refined or the line drawing.

[00:40:42] Now he’s cutting it outta linoleum. And then Friday is the end because we have too short of a, um, attention span. We can’t remember your story. If you’re taking us, it’s gonna take 10 months to get this. I need to see where you were, what happened in the middle, [00:41:00] where the struggle was, and then you overcoming it.

[00:41:03] So think about telling your story in. Three days or in a week. But that means you’re gonna go to old work, you’re gonna go to old logos that you’ve had. But take us through the process cuz it helps us to know what kind of person you are and how you tell a story. And then that helps us to know, I think that how you would tell our story if you were, if I was hiring.

[00:41:27] So I just think you don’t post what [00:41:30] you’re working on currently. Thank you, doc. , you’re focusing on documenting your work, your progress. You’re not sharing it yet. If you’re going through something and it’s really bad, I hope that you document, because at some point you’re gonna be done with that. You will have come out the other side, and then if you ha don’t have any documenting, there’s, you won’t be able to tell your story as well.

[00:41:55] So it’s not that you’re not taking pictures of it. And off these pictures, some are just, you [00:42:00] know, from my phone. No. Obviously I wasn’t color correcting anything. Um, so I’ve seen this a bunch of different places. Um, Glennon Doyle, and then I saw Steven Feick said this as well, we should share from our scars not our open wounds.

[00:42:18] And that’s what I mean here. So in this, you’re not, I’m not sharing something that’s I’m really ashamed of, or I don’t know what the end of the story is. I have the, I have the [00:42:30] piece. . I didn’t show the blob that I had as trees when I had it as trees in October. I’m showing it now that it. Um, come through all, I, I finished it, so I asked one student, I mean, I asked them all.

[00:42:46] I said, well, what do you post? And he said, I post things that I’m proud of and, and I said, okay, well I want. Y’all. I want me to post things that I’m proud of and I wanna do more of. And it’s hard for me to say I’m proud of [00:43:00] something. Like they’re, my sister noticed this when I texted her a picture of this at Christmas.

[00:43:05] I said, I’m proud of this. She’s like, you never say that. I’m like, I know. Um, so it was a really a big thing for me to just say openly to my sister and to y’all. Now that I was proud of something that I had made. Are there still things I can work on? Yes, I am. I’m learning. I’m exploring. I’m okay. I know what stage I’m at.

[00:43:27] Um, but I think you need to tell a story. Think [00:43:30] about your post your social media. I told you I would wrap it back around social media. Can you go back, look at some of your sketches, look at some of the process that you did. Maybe it’s you filming yourself. Um, now looking back at it, I think when you, when people do sketchbook tours, I really like for them to talk me through.

[00:43:50] I don’t want it to be so fast that I can’t absorb some things. I don’t want, my husband gives me a hard time that I listen to books really fast or [00:44:00] podcast. Um, he’s like, what do you got it at 2.5? And I’m like, no, it’s at 1.3 for my books and 1.5 for my podcast. Um, I’m just quick, I guess I can listen fast, but.

[00:44:15] For people. Let them decide the speed. Don’t speed it up so hard that I can’t, or so fast that I can’t even process some of what’s happening, but only share the story. I think after you’ve gotten time to [00:44:30] reflect, because look, a reflection is really beautiful, but if there are waves on it, you can’t even see reflection.

[00:44:36] All you can see is the waves. And that’s kind of where I’m thinking of like share from. Uh, scars the things that I’ve already healed over. I don’t want you to share it during a storm. I want you to share it. After the storms passed, cuz that leads up that Wednesday. Now I’m like, Ooh, what is this gonna look like?

[00:44:53] I’m looking forward to it. I’m anticipating it, but all I have to wait is till Friday. Right. That’s why we binge watch, [00:45:00] I think, because we just can’t. , um, wait, so where can you grow? Um, reflect on the work you’ve done that you’re proud of, on what worked on it and what didn’t, and then iterate, do another piece.

[00:45:16] I was doing the exact same piece. For a while, I’m still doing landscapes, so I’m still doing trees, so I still have to deal with the same thing. Trees and fields. Most of the landscapes I’m doing are something like that. So I’m still [00:45:30] working out the same thing except I’m not drawing the exact same. But you can, you can draw the exact same thing.

[00:45:35] So share the story. Share what you were able to overcome. I think you should share that, share that story, and spread that. Anyway, I don’t know if that was helpful to anybody, but for my students, sorry, I was also blurry. For my students, it’s really important, and I mean my students in the university, but also for me [00:46:00] that I am reflecting back at what worked and what didn’t work, what I could do better.

[00:46:06] And I know there’s stuff here I could do better. Um, maybe still some stuff here that I can do better, but definitely in that other one with the field. The Buffalo one. I know the trees, I could do better. But here’s one of the goals that I’m trying to do. I’m trying to draw, trying to get better. That’s how I’m working on as an illustrator, and I am [00:46:30] focusing on one social media platform, which I know is scary.

[00:46:36] It’s not that I’m not, um, posting to the others. I’m really working on one cuz if I can grow one to where I want it to be. So I don’t exactly know where I want it to be, but I’m focusing on YouTube. So while I work on my drawing, I’ll focus on YouTube and with the podcast and with the web design or whatever I’m doing with Creative Ignite, [00:47:00] I will be the main channel for me, social media-wise is YouTube for this year.

[00:47:07] And then we’ll. Can I add something? Does that mean I’m not gonna be anywhere else, man, I don’t know. But right now I still post to other places, but it’s not like I have, I’m not, you know, what do I want social media to do for me? I just wanna connect, give people hope. Um, I don’t know. It, I, it would be [00:47:30] great if we get clients that way.

[00:47:32] Wouldn’t it be great if I figured it out and then now I’m able to share with you? I see how it works with other people. I see people going from just posting weekly on YouTube, and then they’re selling things. They’re selling all kinds of things that they’ve made, and they’re selling things on affiliate links.

[00:47:56] They’re, they’re. Um, [00:48:00] bridging gaps. People actually have hope. They’re commenting, they’re connecting with people. Um, I think our first thing is like, well, I don’t wanna do this if it’s, if I’m not gonna make any money off of this. Right. And I, I get that we do need to pay our meals. So anyway, hopefully that helped.

[00:48:19] Um, so I can’t do it all. I don’t know about you. What lies are you telling yourself? Here are the three I was telling I’m gonna get bored if I pick one thing. And, [00:48:30] um, I need to post, I need to post every day, or I need to post this thing right now that I’m working on right now, but it’s not finished. I don’t even know if I’m gonna like it, you know, I might abandon it.

[00:48:40] I’m trying not to abandon things, so I’m just documenting, documenting where it is, what I’ve done, and then I know it’ll be a story for later. And it’s okay if it’s not something you did yesterday. Doc says, Jake Parker made a good point that if you wait till the piece is perfect, you’d never post.

[00:48:59] Absolutely be [00:49:00] iter, but iterating over time will yield growth. Inevitably, that growth will allow you to see things you change or no longer wanna do in your work. Exactly The other. That was a side note, and I’ll just tell you this cause we have three minutes, whole three minutes left. Is that what I see sometimes is I see people that I follow and I love, but I don’t know how to use their work.

[00:49:21] I don’t know how to hire them. Um, I don’t know if they have it for sale, if I’m gonna hang it on my wall [00:49:30] or if I’m gonna. , they’re not giving me context. So in that story, so think about Derek Castle. He does the sketch right? Then he does. Refinement and he is putting it on the linoleum and he is cutting it out.

[00:49:45] That’s the middle of the week post. And then the final post is the finished piece, but the best, he could do four, I guess, but you the finished piece in one of those, or in that video, you should also show it hanging in context or [00:50:00] how it’s used, how that artwork ended up on a plate for a c Creighton barrel or something, or how that artwork ended up on the Miller.

[00:50:08] Um, artist Can series they did with Harley Davidson. That tells me it’s not just art, right? But he’s also a designer, an illustrator, and I can hire him to do it. So if you just show me the art and you never show me hanging on the wall, then I don’t know how to use it. If you show [00:50:30] me these amazing. People illustrations, but you don’t show me how to use it.

[00:50:35] That it could be used in a magazine or it could be used and you can make that step up. Um, it could be used. I know Doc used his for like a event and it was all the people had their pictures done like that, but they also had big, uh, banners on the stage or, you know, it was maybe graphics that were, you know, behind each speaker or something.

[00:50:58] Show me it in [00:51:00] context. I think that will help us to get more, more work. We’ll see. Let’s try it out. It’s a whole bunch of testing. I’ll tell you how YouTube goes. You tell me how everything else goes. Um, maybe we can work on this together. So I would love for you to put below if you’re in the chat now, or below if you’re in YouTube or wherever you’re seeing this, um, tell me what stage you’re at in the thing that you’re growing at, that you’re trying to grow.[00:51:30]

[00:51:30] Do you know what I mean? Um, I feel like we move through imposter syndrome. We forget that I used to be imposter when I brush my teeth. I used to not know how to do it. Um, I used to not know how to drive. And now I can drive. You know, there I was an imposter. I felt like an imposter for a while, while I was learning, while I was practicing.

[00:51:55] But the more I practiced, the better I got, the more confident I got. Now I can just get in the [00:52:00] car. I can listen to a book at 1.5 or a podcast, no book at 1.3, podcast 1.5, and I can carry on a conversation with a book or a person. Anyway, the. I hope that you guys have a great week and I will see you next week, um, with my friend Brian Perry and we’re gonna talk, talk about his book called The Myth of Certainty.

[00:52:23] Anyway, so I’m really excited. It’s not that thick of a book. Really good. Can’t wait. Brian has been a friend of mine. We hiked the Grand [00:52:30] Canyon when we were, I was 20, maybe he was 21. Yeah, I was 21. I don’t remember. It was a long time ago. I hacked it again when I was 41. Um, very different experie. But it’ll be good to have my friend Brian on and.

[00:52:46] Just to talk about mental health for the last week, and then it’s love on designers and I can’t wait and we’re all caught up. So this one, and we’ll post next week, one from last week. We’re, we’re just a week out, so I’m getting better. [00:53:00] Um, and I will see you guys. Next week. Bye.

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