The Urge to Put my Head in the Sand

Episode 421, Aired LIVE on Oct 26, 2022

This week on the show I will be talking about the on-going battle in my head of my self-shaming. I am trying to face the ugly and learn from it instead of running from it. I have avoided this ugliness by getting busy and not facing the thing.

So many things in my life God is bringing to my attention and reminding me of my tendency to avoid instead of face.

It is sitting in and with these uncomfortable feelings.

Here are some I have gotten better at. These used to be super uncomfortable.

Sitting when someone is crying and just letting them cry.

Giving people time to think, instead of filling the silence.* I am still working on this.

Being able to raise my hand and ask someone something I don’t understand.

Showing my ugly or in-process art work.

Showing things I have done only for myself and not feeling guilty or feel like I am being selfish by doing something not for someone else.

I hope you will join me live, Wednesday, Oct 26, 2022 at 2:30pm ET / 7:30pm BST / 11:30am PT / 8:30am in Hawaii. To get the link for the live taping sign up here: https://creativesignite.com/signup

Join me for a Workout for your Imagination for the month of November. Check it out here: https://creativesignite.com/imaginember/

or Listen here

Transcript

[00:00:00] diane: Hey everybody. Welcome to another episode of Creatives Ignite. I’m Diane Gibbs and today I have my friend Chris Martin, who’s here to help me out. But he also is a great thinker and a good prompter for me cuz I was doing this alone and he knows it’s better when I have somebody to talk to and I don’t try to do all the reading.

[00:00:26] Right, exactly. Chris, I’m here to help you. Yes, Chris [00:00:30] is here to help, but he’s also a really good friend and he challenges me. I think we text every day just about, I think there are some Mondays that I get too busy and I can’t text. Um, but he has a super cute pug and, uh, I’m in love with his little dog that I haven’t met yet, but yep, there you go.

[00:00:49] Super cute. And, um, his name’s Mo Cosmo is the full Oh. What I wanted to talk about, I, I, I almost was in, in [00:01:00] tears, uh, lots of times, but I usually just hunker down and nothing try. Not to get too, um, hard on myself. And, um, I was talking to my cousin and I was showing her, um, this painting. So I’m gonna share my screen cause I still am making lots of ugly things.

[00:01:19] So these are all things that I don’t necessarily really like. I really like the middle one, the best out of all of them. It’s weird, uh, a little bit, but the one on the [00:01:30] right, which I’ll get to in just a second, it’s a very short deck. Here it is. So I was talking to my cousin and. A painter. She’s not an artist, but she, um, we meet on Sundays and I sometimes show her some things that I’m working on.

[00:01:44] We do a little Bible study together. And so anyway, I am, um, showing her this, this is the last one in a series of four that was pretty much the same, uh, uh, composition. And I thought I would’ve gotten [00:02:00] better, but I actually hate this. The worst, um, the, it’s the worst one of all of them. And I’m like, well, was I tired?

[00:02:08] I think the, the shadow on the tree, it’s really painful for me to even look at. And I was like, this one’s terrible. And she’s like, she asks this question, Chris and everybody, and I was like, oh. And she said, why? And I honestly, I was. I hadn’t looked at it long enough. I just knew [00:02:30] there was something so wrong with it, and I was so disappointed in myself that I was like, Ooh.

[00:02:37] Um, I don’t know. I usually sometimes will just. I think I just go straight to the self shaming, you know, you’re terrible, blah, blah, blah. Right? Um, but for me, out of the four of them, this is probably the weakest. I was trying too many things. Maybe I was rushing, the clouds weren’t, aren’t good. The shadow, you can see my mouse, right?[00:03:00]

[00:03:00] Mm-hmm. . So the, the shadow is bad. The, I mean, it was. Yuck. Um, and so I was really disappointed in myself that in four, I had gotten better, all the other three. But then when my cousin asked me, well, what’s wrong with it? I realized that I hadn’t spent enough time reflecting on how I could make it better.

[00:03:26] And I had done that on the others. So there was something that kind of, [00:03:30] um, hit me that maybe I had spent too much time on this composition or that I hadn’t, I was really frustrated at my, um, growth, uh, speed, I guess because I felt like there was speed in the others that I was growing. Um, and then I just felt like I, uh, backslid, I don’t know what you call that back sleep.

[00:03:54] Anyway, I just really felt, I was frustrated and I was like, okay, I’m done with this then. [00:04:00] And I think it was really the tree, the trees in the back, the shadow. I just, ugh. You know? It was just rough to me. And so I’ve, I’ve been working on lots of other things and I, uh, showed Amy Hager and Mora and, uh, John, um, ENGs this, and we’re in a little text chat back and forth, and we just send art to each other.

[00:04:24] It’s not always good art, right? And mine isn’t always good art. Maybe there’s this, but I was like, oh, I did [00:04:30] this lady’s class on skill share. I can’t remember what it is, but I’ll find it and I’ll put it in the in. Links below. So link below Diane. Um, and it was like a really, you’re doing the, the moon, and I like the clouds on this, but I realized that I hated, um, these little tiny marks.

[00:04:57] And Amy Hasen Yager was like, Ooh, I really [00:05:00] like those. And then just even saying, Was so great because I realized that there were lots of things I did like about this piece, but I didn’t give up. Like I actually painted all the little leaves on the trees. And then I had to paint over them. And then you can tell I just kind of gave up on the, the stuff on the ground and Amy’s looked so good and I was like, yeah, I don’t care.

[00:05:26] I didn’t have as much fun. Like the lady on Skillshare was like, this is so [00:05:30] relaxing. Except she said it with a different accent. And. Um, and I was like, this is not, this is anxiety inducing to me. So I, all these little lines, Debbie Clapper, I would be like, mm, I do not think I could do what you do. I might could try, but it would not be the same.

[00:05:48] And it is not, it was more anxiety inducing for me. And Amy has, Nier was like, oh, I really liked this. So for me this was. A a really [00:06:00] good, I’m glad I finished it. I don’t like the trees in the back. I think I overworked where the light was coming in, but I kinda like the mountain. I like the clouds. I like the splatter.

[00:06:08] I like the moon. The end. That’s it. Half of it, I like half of it. I don’t, but this didn’t bother me. Like the first one. I actually am glad I finished this. I don’t wanna do it again. Amy has neer you go. I don’t wanna do it then this weekend, or you know, I’m watching Skillshare every night before I go to bed.

[00:06:29] [00:06:30] These people are putting me to sleep. I mean, not in a bad way, in a good way. They’re putting me to sleep. Um, but I watched something and this one lady, her name’s Denise Love, she has a lot of ’em. She’s from Atlanta, so she’s real. She’s a great southern accent. And if you think I sound Southern, you might have trouble understanding Denise Love, but I can watch her at 2.0.

[00:06:52] I actually think I’m watching her at 1.5, but she made amazing little abstracts. I have trouble with abstracts. [00:07:00] Mara can do abstracts. Amy can do. Amy has neer, can do abstracts. I’m having trouble with abstracts. This to me, the one on the right looks like some. Sort of body part, like a liver or something.

[00:07:12] And then if you turn it to the sign, and I’m not gonna do this, but can you see, you can see this is like a bulldog. Do you see this? A nose? But where the whiskers are, you know, and then here it could be this old woman. I don’t know, this is her beard. Um, but this is her like, Hat, that’s all limpy. I don’t know [00:07:30] what this is, this is some sort of tail, whatever, you know.

[00:07:33] Um, anyway, this is, um, oh, and I have, just so you know, um, you spend more time on skills share. I pay for it. That’s what Amy Lyon says. If you want two free months free, it’s in the link underneath, down below. I always have a link for two free months of skills. I really like these, like, well, these are the best of the two.

[00:07:56] I think I put some really ugly ones in there. This one is like, [00:08:00] I’m just overworking. I’m literally just overworking. Um, and uh, Chris says that Adobe Creative Cloud also get two months free, but. Can you overwork? Well in the computer we can just undo, undo, undo or save as. So it’s really, this has been big step that I’m able to actually get through this, but I can see that maybe this isn’t for me.

[00:08:23] I still think I’ll try, um, some more. Here’s some more. This one is for Cosmo. [00:08:30] See, it’s a pug. I think I showed you this one. Chris. This is some weird thing. Um, it’s. I don’t know, uh, eyes and then a lot of teeth. I think, um, again, it just felt like just a big blob, uh, blob work to me. Um, but what I realized is that I’m, I’m just working in these sketchbooks, you know, uh, at night with just limited pins or whatever.

[00:08:58] And I just decided, okay, it was [00:09:00] gray in this brown tombo pin or yellowy brown tombo pin. And I liked these markers. I, I liked these little things. I kind of made something else and I just made little sketches of abstracts cuz I said, well, maybe I can work on this. And I think I just need to keep doing things.

[00:09:17] This is the LSU stadium and I figured this was the parking lot because I was watching an LSU game. So I’m. Anything I’m abstracting, you know, I’m just trying to make some things. [00:09:30] Um, and then this one I ended up trying to make with a wash. But there was something I was still kind of missing. Maybe it was the energy, but often I’m not going back and reflecting.

[00:09:42] I often don’t do this in my life, I think. Um, but just as a, I think I’ve shared this, right? I’ve shared this about plan. I just think it’s always good to laugh, but why can I laugh at myself here? But I have such trouble looking at. Just really [00:10:00] looking at what I could improve anyway, so the end for the visual share there.

[00:10:06] But for me, um, I, I realized I was really, I, when someone doesn’t come to me, if I could have helped them, and it was something I did. I could have helped it fix it. I think that’s when I get bothered the most. They’re like either not wanting to bother me cuz I’m [00:10:30] busy, or they’re just like, you’re not the right one, or whatever it is.

[00:10:36] Um, I think about with a kid, if a kid was having trouble in my class and they went to one of the other professors instead of coming to me like that kind of hurts. Uh, as like I’m the one who. I could help you with me if you know, if it’s about discussing something or whatever. So with lots of things, it doesn’t matter if it’s a client thing, if it’s a student [00:11:00] in my class, or even if it’s just me painting something that I don’t, I’m really, I thought I would be further, I tend to just go get busy and I don’t look at it.

[00:11:11] And so I feel like it’s really held me back from, from growth and I, I think that. There are certain things that I’ve gotten better at that some things I’m still working on. Um, but I have gotten better. I can just sit with someone when they’re crying. That’s not a problem. It never, [00:11:30] it doesn’t bother me. I try to give people space to think, and sometimes with Chris Martin, he’s helped me this the most.

[00:11:38] He’ll be like just thinking, and I want to interrupt and I know I have plenty of times with him, but I want to interrupt, but I’m really working on just holding space because that’s uncomfortable to me. Even if something’s uncomfortable, it doesn’t mean that it’s something we need to avoid. And I feel like I’ve [00:12:00] avoided uncomfortable.

[00:12:02] I mean, we all, I think we all kind of do that originally, or initially, not originally. I don’t know, maybe we do it originally also, but for me, when I, I just am not gonna be able to serve every single kid, or I’m not gonna be able to serve every single client. I’m not gonna be able to fix something if I said something or I did something that I wish I hadn’t done.

[00:12:26] It’s, I’m just gonna have to sit with it sometimes and [00:12:30] I, I actually need to reflect. Chris is great. Chris Martin is great at reflecting and I think one reason he, I don’t think I’m great at reflecting, so when he texts me and says, how was my day? That’s a way for me to a little bit think about reflecting on my day.

[00:12:46] My friend Van is amazing at reflecting and it’s, I’ve seen that she’s been able to grow. Chris has been able to grow, but I’ve. Avoided it, but the, where it was really obvious was with this painting, the [00:13:00] the one with the tree is that I couldn’t even look at it. I felt like I was just really quick to just put it away.

[00:13:07] And I worry that in some things in my business, I’ve just been like, quick to just put it away instead of really trying to, Hey, maybe you need to think about this differently. Like, you need to spend time and work on this, Diane. I don’t know if anybody thinks that as well or has trouble with that, but I, I definitely, um, [00:13:30] have been there.

[00:13:30] Do you have any comments, Chris?

[00:13:34] Chris Martin: You know me, Diane, I, I couldn’t help but hear when it’s business related. When it’s design related, you have more of a, like a distance between you and the client. Uh, and you also have time. So you have that 25 year career where you’re able to have more of, um, I guess distance from the beginning.

[00:13:59] [00:14:00] Whereas now with the art, You know, it’s, it’s easier to judge it because you have this 25 year career and then you have this brand new thing that you’re doing, and you’re like, why am I not as good as I, as I am at this 25 year career? That’s

[00:14:17] diane: what I’m hearing. Yeah. Maybe so I, I mean, I definitely think we have time with practice.

[00:14:24] But I also feel like one of the sparks yesterday, cuz the thing with my cousin Stacy was [00:14:30] a few weeks ago and I’ve just kind of thought about it, but the thing yesterday that sparked was really a client thing and it was, but it’s something that kind of bothers me about a kid. If a kid goes to one of my colleagues instead of coming to me and it’s sort of the same sort of thing, well, somebody else can solve it for you.

[00:14:45] But I could have solved it. And that maybe I realized this morning that maybe they didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell me, Hey, this wasn’t, this isn’t working, this wasn’t good. Or, [00:15:00] or, the design you did is nice, but it’s not working for us. And I guess, you know, I’m, I’m okay if it’s like, I’ll fix it till it works.

[00:15:10] I would rather like, it’s like you put in a toilet. You had talked about this on your podcast or a new sink or something, right in your bathroom, you’re like, not that I have, but I could do it now if you, if you had to. But I have put in a toilet. I mean, not alone. My husband helped me or he did it and I watched and I helped bring it inside.

[00:15:29] Whatever. I [00:15:30] didn’t do that much. I handed him things. Um, I bought the toilet. I don’t know, maybe that counts, but I know there are certain parts. I had to do, well now the toilet’s rocking again. I don’t, John’s like, how do you sit down on the toilet? Diane, how do you keep breaking the toilet? And I’m like, I am not breaking the toilet.

[00:15:49] I am not sitting down funny on the toilet. I am just sitting down. I don’t know. I keep, I think there’s something with the bolt. I don’t think it’s me. Maybe. Maybe this, I don’t know. [00:16:00] But you put it in and you expect it to work. You expect it not to get, go back to rocking. So, but if I had, if I had called. I had, maybe it was something in the bolt.

[00:16:14] I literally would call the bolt company and be like, Hey, your bolt’s broke again. You know, I don’t really think it’s a user error unless I am using the toilet differently than anybo me and my mom, because I know she uses the toilet the same way. Right? Um, [00:16:30] that’s the only one I’m for sure in here that uses a toilet the same way I was taught by her.

[00:16:35] This is how we use a toilet. So sit down on it, right? So, I, I would just go to the bolt manufacturer, the whoever made the toilet and say, Hey, it’s doing this again. I guess that’s what I’m saying. I would, that’s what ended up hurting when they, when a client. It’s not working. That’s not the part that hurts.

[00:16:59] I [00:17:00] understand. Like, it’s not all gonna, it’s not all gonna work. We, I think marketing and design, it’s like, oh, we just gotta try something and then we gotta adjust. So I’m okay with that. But it’s that, um, you either didn’t feel comfortable enough to come to me so that I could fix it cuz I want to fix it.

[00:17:19] So then it makes me feel like, oh my heart, you know, I just. I mean, I went through a bunch of things. Chris and I were, I was making dinner. I know, shocker. I was making dinner [00:17:30] and Chris and I were texting back and forth and I told him, I was like, and I hadn’t really figured out exactly why this bothered me so much.

[00:17:41] Um, but I think it was either, Maybe they didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell me, or they didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell me, or they didn’t think I was capable enough to fix something. Um, and maybe that was it. [00:18:00] Um, I don’t, I don’t know. Uh, and it’s not like it’s the first time the client, I mean, I, but I will work with someone.

[00:18:08] I’m never like, no, my way or the highway. Let me explain just a little bit. If, if maybe you guys have a advice for me, um, I’d love to have it in the chat or in the comments if you’re watching this or listening to this later situation. Um, a client comes, you’ve done a [00:18:30] job, and, um, maybe a part of. Uh, maybe it’s a brochure.

[00:18:38] This wasn’t what it was, but let’s just say, and it doesn’t fit, like it doesn’t fit in their folder that they put it in, but they didn’t have the folder till later or whatever. Right. So, but now they need it to be adjusted and instead of going back to me to adjust, they go to another designer instead of coming back to me.

[00:18:59] [00:19:00] And, and I guess that that was, that, that’s the part I don’t know. Yesterday, I’m like, well, I did the best I could on the brochure. I did everything I knew to do to make the best brochure. Had I had the folder, I could have designed the brochure differently or better to fit the folder. And or I could have designed a folder had I known you were going to be [00:19:30] using a, I mean, I’ve had that.

[00:19:31] I have some things like for clients where they had like multiple pieces and then they were all separate and then we made ’em a custom folder, right? That goes and then they hand them out. But I guess it’s like, Um, I’ve had clients who said, I’ve done their website, and then they’ll be like, do you know we need somebody to do some print work?

[00:19:51] And I’m like, me, I can do the print work right? I can, I can, I can do the print work. And, um, because they didn’t [00:20:00] know, again, we should tell people what we do. We should tell people regularly what we do, even if it’s just once a year. Like, here are some things that I really had fun designing. You know, in your Christmas card to your clients or something, or an email once a year, once every six months.

[00:20:16] They just don’t know. And so when my one client that I had designed their website, asked if I knew anybody who could do the print stuff, I worked in print that was in publication design. So it’s a old love for me, and I, [00:20:30] I love doing that stuff. Um, but I guess it’s the same thing here with this client. The brochure, the folder.

[00:20:38] They went somewhere else because I don’t know why, but in my head I’m very creative. I’m amazingly, um, imaginative on. What is happening? So, um, so I guess maybe it’s, maybe it is. Ma [00:21:00] says it’s a matter of convenience. Um, it could be, um, and sometimes it’s results and sometimes it’s that maybe I don’t have, um, what they need, um, or I’m not as good at making a folder as somebody else would be.

[00:21:16] You wanna read, um, pauses for me out? Sure

[00:21:20] Chris Martin: Paul said regarding the folder issue. I think as creatives we sometimes forget that what is important slash special slash critical to us is just an [00:21:30] interchangeable thing for our clients. They may not give it any second thought, which hurts, but we each have our our

[00:21:36] diane: focus.

[00:21:36] Hmm. That is some good, that’s really good. That’s really good. Paul, I should just call you and I’m having this, I should just not have a podcast and just call Paul. That’s what. I’m just playing, but I, that is good, wise advice. Thanks Paul. I appreciate it. Um, absolutely. Amy also says so right to Paul [00:22:00] Plus Plus.

[00:22:01] Um, and, uh, do you wanna read phase, uh, Fay says

[00:22:05] Chris Martin: sometimes it’s nothing to do with you at all. They just fancy a change, right?

[00:22:09] diane: That’s right. She have to say that in a British accent though. Chris. She’s British. No,

[00:22:13] Chris Martin: that, that’s offensive. .

[00:22:15] diane: You can’t do it in a British accent. It is. I love talking to Fa. She, but I, you know, that’s true.

[00:22:20] They could just fancy a change. Um. I guess, you know, when it’s something that I am so proud about, I’m so proud of the folder and how the [00:22:30] brochure works in it and how it all works together. But maybe, like Paul was saying, it just didn’t, it didn’t work the way they wanted.

[00:22:37] Chris Martin: So at when you find out that a client has an issue with the folder, they go some to someone else.

[00:22:48] Change how you feel about the project? Cause you said you’re really excited about it. I what? And now? Yeah, now it’s like, is this like the shadow where all you can see now is that bad thing? Or, and, and these tiny [00:23:00] marks and now everything’s thrown out.

[00:23:02] diane: Maybe. Maybe I, you know, I think about it like, um, you know, when you leave, maybe Chris, you don’t know this, but I’m hoping people with hair can get this one.

[00:23:11] Okay. It’s a little, I know a little, but, you know, my, um, husband’s bald, so I like bald. Um, so when you leave the salon and your hair looks awesome. But you cannot do it again. You’re like, I’m not gonna wash my hair for a couple days. So it still looks good. [00:23:30] And then you wash your hair and the next day, I mean, my hair is really poofy.

[00:23:34] Like, it’s like, woo. And I just have so much volume that I’m sure some people would love to have that much volume. I do not. I would switch some volume for some, um, anyway. Uh, but like, you love what they did and. But you can’t replicate it and you will not see them again for a month. And I, you know, I’ve changed [00:24:00] hairdressers, but it’s really a me problem, right?

[00:24:02] Like it’s a, maybe, I don’t know how this is relating to my thing, but maybe if I asked my hairdresser, if I ask her name’s Elizabeth, if I asked Elizabeth, how can I, can you give me a hairstyle that I’ll be able to do? And she knows. I can get dressed and out of the house in 11 minutes, and that is even letting Jackson out and giving him his vitamins.

[00:24:28] Like I take my shower at [00:24:30] night. I am fast people, my husband doesn’t have hair and he can’t do anything in 11 minutes. Right? Like, he’s like just getting suds up in the shower, like it takes him forever. I don’t, I think that it. That I, maybe they thought maybe it was, I’m thinking they’re thinking I’m maliciously not doing something correct or right.

[00:24:53] And so that’s why maybe they didn’t, uh, yeah. Gen Close [00:25:00] says, it’s just not about us. It’s not about all about us as service provider. Yeah. I think it just kind of tipped me over the edge about the, the, the client thing. But then it was also like, why can’t I even look at this ugly? I just kept thinking about my cousin saying, why, why don’t you like it?

[00:25:18] And I just hadn’t spent enough time and I, um, I really, um, lean into busyness. Like I can just, you know, grind through it or something. [00:25:30] Yeah. I think Fay says it, uh, it’s right. It’s because you really care about the job and that it hurts to be rejected. Absolutely. The, the rejection part is really hard for me.

[00:25:42] I guess I just don’t want anybody to think that I, um, I didn’t make it not work well on purpose, you know what I mean?

[00:25:52] Chris Martin: Chris has a really good question in the chat, he says, I don’t know if you mentioned it, but did you communicate with the client to ask what the issue was? [00:26:00] I find that most issues stem from a lack of face-to-face discussions.

[00:26:04] diane: Yeah. I did have a conversation, um, with, with the client and maybe they just didn’t. Um, so it was like a team of people. So say there was like an illustrator and a designer, me, the designer, and then maybe somebody else doing the packaging of the folder or whatever, like the custom part of that. And it was kind of like, [00:26:30] part of it was not my part, uh, part, but because I was art directing maybe.

[00:26:38] It was. And some of it was like, oh, it just didn’t work. Like the, you know, I guess I just felt maybe that happens with everybody, but I just felt like I should have known. Oh, right. And I know what Chris would say about shoulds. You tell them, [00:27:00] stop shooting on yourself. That’s right. That is not a, anything we have to bleep out.

[00:27:04] It’s just shoulds. Right. Yeah, I also tried something in October, I think it was the, the first week of October. Um, and it didn’t work and I could have easily just let it go, um, and just not mention it again. Uh, Mario had really, uh, After seeing me in person and seeing [00:27:30] my, um, the, my sketchbooks and all my blobs, and he’s like, you should just do a month of blobs and then post those things.

[00:27:38] I was like, okay, yeah, that’s, I’m gonna do that. And I recorded it. I was here at school. It’s great lighting now, but when I get here, I think I recorded it after me and Faye and Andrew and Pippa had met and we meet at 6:00 AM and as dark as. Here, it’s terrible lighting in the morning in this room, and I tried to record it and I had [00:28:00] two cameras, you know, recording and it just didn’t work.

[00:28:04] And. And I, I just gave up. I was like, well, I don’t have time to figure this out right now. You know? I was like, well, I can’t do it here. I’m gonna have to do it at home. And then I just had taxes since I was so late on my taxes. But I did get my taxes done, but I was like, no, I’m gonna do a blob a day. So, and I think I had mentioned it in one of the, the rapid recharges that I did earlier in like in September.[00:28:30]

[00:28:30] And so I was like, well, I just won’t say. But then I just kept, again, it’s being able to reflect or being, having time to reflect is that I ended up, uh, saying, no, I’m gonna do it. And so I got everything together. I showed Debbie the other day. I did a, um, it’s in flow desk, which I use for my email out. It’s like a trigger.

[00:28:55] So you set this up and then you tell how many days you wanna wait, [00:29:00] and then it’ll send out the, you can get all your emails done at once, which I love. And it for, I am a planner and so it’s really nice. So I end up, uh, doing this and I’m like, okay, I haven’t, I’ve already recorded one, me drawing the blog, but I’m not obviously going to be doing that because I’ll have to redo it.

[00:29:20] So I’m gonna share this link so that, uh, Chris doesn’t have to, but if you want to sign up and get for the next 30 days, you can, you can start [00:29:30] now with me if you want. Um, I am gonna do this and let me see if I can share my screen. There’s really nothing really to see, I guess. Mm. I don’t know if I have any While

[00:29:41] Chris Martin: you’re looking, Diane, uh, Jen Close says, I think you should publish a blob journal.

[00:29:47] And, uh, several people have piled on and said that they agree and Jen Close said she would even buy it. So , there you go. Oh,

[00:29:55] diane: that’s good. Um, well, um, I, we’ll have to talk [00:30:00] Jen, I, cuz I’m not sure a blob journal or just a blob like coloring. Or blob, a blank blob book. I did. Uh, I did find one. There was one, I think the Museum of Modern Art.

[00:30:13] I think I sent one to Paul. Right. Paul, do you remember? But it was really big blobs. Yeah. Kind of like the ugly ones I was making earlier. Yeah. Faith

[00:30:23] Chris Martin: said it would be art therapy. And Mario says, we’ve talked about this triple exclamation

[00:30:28] diane: point. Yes, yes, [00:30:30] yes. I know, I know Mario. I know. And you guys get to hear Mario.

[00:30:33] Uh, for real, for real. Not just in the chat next week. Um, Mario is my guest next week, and then, Sandi Hester. We’re all leading up to Sandi Hester, my friend, and I’m really excited to have, not that I’m not excited to have Mario or Chris on with me. Um, I am, and I don’t, I guess I don’t have there any blogs in this sketchbook.

[00:30:55] I brought the wrong sketchbooks, I guess. Anyway, Paul

[00:30:59] Chris Martin: [00:31:00] says, yep, but I agree it wasn’t as nice as your blobs. Diane, thanks Paul. And Mario says, we’re second fiddles.

[00:31:08] diane: maybe. Maybe not. Um, I did, when I showed Mario this, I know this, when I showed him this, he’s like, yeah, it’s better in person, . And I just think that is so funny.

[00:31:21] I like that girl too. This girl, these are with those chap sticky things that are like quick sticks. I don’t, I guess I don’t have any blobs. I thought I had [00:31:30] some in here, um, to show. But anyway, not that y’all probably, anyway, I’ll just share my screen because you’ll be able to see ’em here. Imagine Ember.

[00:31:39] So it’s like November, but Imagine em is what I’m calling it anyway, so you can, um, if you go the link that I, I think I put it in the chat, that link right there, which will all also be linked down below. Um, Is, I’m gonna try, I’m gonna start it [00:32:00] in probably this weekend. So you’ll start seeing some posts and obviously every little blob I don’t color in, you know, like I don’t see anything at some points.

[00:32:10] Um, sometimes I come back like, you’ll notice the green pin is one, and then these were done in, in 22. Like look at that super cute baby elephant. And then, I don’t know what this is, but I love him. This is the elephant done. In December of 21, and then this was like four one of 22. [00:32:30] I have no idea what this is.

[00:32:31] Some weird dead bird or something. I don’t know. They don’t have to make sense. I don’t look at these and are like, oh my gosh, I should be better at this blob thing. I actually, it’s just I see things like in a cloud, and what I love about this, and I know I’ve said this before, Me and Paul and Amy, um, Lynn, actually I have a picture of the three of our things and Amy Lynn combined three blobs and it was this lady [00:33:00] with this hat and I was like, and she looked like she was dancing.

[00:33:03] And then me and Paul got something else and I love. That it’s like we have the same stuff to start with and I just think it would be really cool to see what everybody does and maybe we post throughout the week and then at the end of the week you take your one sheet and you, um, you take a picture of the sheet or you do a little video of going out around and then, then we are able to see, and hopefully you’ll tag me in [00:33:30] it so then I can plop it all on this page and, and have it.

[00:33:34] And I almost just let this go and didn’t do this. But if you go down here, look, I even made like a little, I can’t remember what this thing’s called a form I think. But anyway, so do these creative calisthenics and you get over 30, cuz there’s literally six weeks of blob sheets. And I think it’s gonna be fun and I think it’s gonna be fun for us to [00:34:00] share.

[00:34:00] And I just don’t, for me, I just don’t think that. There’s not a lot of, uh, I didn’t do it right, because it’s your imagination. It’s just what you saw. You might not see anything. You might see something right here and you’re like, oh my gosh, why didn’t she see this? I just hadn’t seen anything yet in this, and that is okay too.

[00:34:21] But to me it’s really fun to see what y’all see and to see. How I saw it and how, how we’re different. And, uh, [00:34:30] Jen, an aunt Eater. Yeah, maybe. So. Jen clothes, um, hopefully it’s okay. I’m sharing this. If not, you can be mad at me. But like, you know, sometimes we’re talking about things and you’re like, oh, I’ve gotta do this, I’ve gotta do this.

[00:34:41] And Jen’s talking about other things that she needs cuz she’s always, she’s awesome. She’s always trying to get better and work and me too. But then she was leaving out this awesome thing that she did. I’m like, but. Do this for all your clients. Like you’re just leaving out like the bread on the [00:35:00] sandwich.

[00:35:00] If, if that’s what you’re, if you’re forgetting that you do this awesome thing. And I think this exercise to me allows people to, um, hone in on their imagination. And there’s really, it’s really low. Low stakes. Yeah, low, low stakes. I think so. If you want. Um, to sign up, you’ll, it gets you on another little list.

[00:35:24] Um, and then the only thing that I will ever send on this list is anything [00:35:30] that’s like for your creative calin. So exercises or something. And I don’t have a huge plan for this, but for the next six weeks. So as soon as you sign up, you get, there’s a way to download it or, and you’ll also get it in an email, but then you have, you’ll be reminded and you’ll be sent the next week.

[00:35:49] Sheet. Um, next when, at seven days from whenever you sign up and then the next seven days. So it’ll be like this reminder cuz I need reminders if I’ve forgotten something. [00:36:00] Um, it gets, it helps me get back on track. There’s probably like 20 on each sheet. You don’t have to do all 20. You don’t have to do one a day.

[00:36:07] You can do all of them at once. You can do just seven for the week. It doesn’t matter. It’s just really a little exercise for you to do with. And then we’ll, we’ll see. And I don’t think this has to be in any specific month, but I thought it would be fun to, it’s over 30. Over 30. So five [00:36:30] times 20, there’s six sheets.

[00:36:32] I don’t know. How did I do, how did I say five? There’s six sheets. Six sheets. Yeah, there’s six sheets. But that’s, that’s total, um, surprise. Because hopefully you’ll forget. But then, but anyway, that’s what I’m, um, I’m excited. Low commitment for sure. Um, and thanks, Jen. Close. She said she’s an open book. Um, so she is looking, uh, Amy Lyons says she’s looking forward to [00:37:00] doing this.

[00:37:00] This is very, very small time. I would say don’t do it with a pencil unless it’s like a really dark. 96 B pencil. Because the thing is, is you, I, I don’t let my kids, when I do this in class, I don’t let them use pencil because I don’t want them to erase. So there’s something about, I don’t want them to edit, I just want them to move on.

[00:37:27] And then I’ve made [00:37:30] things that are super stupid looking and I don’t. Like I turn my page. They don’t all face the same way. Um, so, um, anyway, the end and um, I hope that you guys will join me in the blobs and, um, I just, thanks for listening and thanks for the encouragement and the words of advice I guess that were came in the chat.

[00:37:59] I [00:38:00] really appreciate. I appreciate those. You know, it doesn’t matter if you’ve been around for six years or 25 years, there’s still stuff, stuff in my business that I’m not great at, and I, and it’s okay. It’s absolutely okay, but maybe it’s not as okay if I just try to hide. And so I’m trying to be more intentional about not hiding where it feels yucky and just sitting with the yucky and [00:38:30] instead of just.

[00:38:32] Avoiding looking at the ugly tree that I paint in. I don’t wanna avoid the ugly anymore. You got any comments there, Chris?

[00:38:43] Chris Martin: Don’t avoid the ugly and be kinder to yourself. Diane, you just, I think the more you can just be like, you know what? I gave it my best. Maria has a great one. How about stop saying your stuff is ugly.[00:39:00]

[00:39:00] diane: You didn’t see the early stuff buddy, but um, yeah, . There was some. Um, but yes, you’re right. Um,

[00:39:07] Chris Martin: he said yes

[00:39:08] diane: I did. Oh, . Um, I called it, uh, something earlier, self something. Booger. Snot, I can’t remember what I called it. Umnot Works Self, self booger, snot. Um, it was, uh, I thought I wrote it. Self shaming. [00:39:30] Amy Lynn says what you said about turning the page a spot on.

[00:39:33] It’s okay to move on. Sometimes I do self-deprecation. We’re all just giving me things now. That’s good. But I, I do think that there’s some, like, there was a point in the summer. Or in, um, where I could look at something and be like, nah, I’m done. And I, that was like a really, I took the tape off the paper, like I wasn’t going to ever try to finish this one.

[00:39:57] And that was really a big step for me, [00:40:00] um, not to crump it up and throw it away. And I, I see this with my students a lot. Um, or just, you know, Students will fall into tears or they’ll, um, they just can’t, and they just totally change another direction. And I’ve done this with clients too, but sometimes it’s worth just sitting in it and working out what’s going on in that, um, with that logo or whatever, because I think you can actually [00:40:30] revive something or you can get better.

[00:40:32] You’re just changing it. It doesn’t have to change the concept completely. I just need to take some of my own advice and I need to not, um, Chris Daniel said, uh, maybe just have a conversation with them. Um, I think maybe it’s a worth a second conversation, um, just because I, I want people to know that I wanna help them and I wanna fix anything.

[00:40:55] Um, uh, just because I, [00:41:00] I want, I don’t want anybody to have a bad, but again, you’re gonna have some people that don’t like you, and you’re gonna have some people that. Just, uh, and that’s okay too. Like that’s just part of it. It’s just part of the people pleasing in me that I, I like to make people like me, not, you know, avoid me.

[00:41:22] So anyway, thanks for listening. Sorry it was so long. At least it was shorter than an hour. Mom, you will be [00:41:30] proud of me. Anyway, Chris, thank you for doing this with me. Thank you for doing the chat. You’re welcome. He has it muted the whole time, so he has to like pause to unmute. So it’s okay. I, I appreciate, don’t want you to hear my breathing.

[00:41:46] do you breathe like your pug? Apparently I do. , I didn’t hear you breathing. Um, but I have a ear disease, so I’m okay. But anyway, so I am, I’m excited to keep, keep painting, to keep looking [00:42:00] at the yucky ones is yucky. Okay, Chris? Absolutely. So in this, I just think that it is important for, hopefully you guys will realize that nobody has it all together.

[00:42:15] We still fall on our bike sometimes, you know, we get bloody, um, even if we’ve been riding our bike for a long time. So hopefully, um, you’ll be willing to do the blobs with me and [00:42:30] willing to share. Because it makes, it makes it more fun if other people are doing it with me. And these are all new blobs. So if you’ve done some of my blob sheets in the past, you haven’t done these cuz I made these special just for this.

[00:42:46] But you, this is really low stake, so hopefully everybody will use a pin or marker or whatever. Not a Sharpie. Maybe Debbie. Debbie. Debbie likes her Sharpies. It’s pretty thin. It could be a real thin paper. It might bleed into [00:43:00] something else. You know? I mean, I don’t know what kind of paper you’re gonna print it out on.

[00:43:03] You could do it on your iPad too, just so you know. It’s a. Okay. You tie, you try. Debbie’s gonna try it with a fine tip. Sharpie. She really is committed to the Sharpie brand. Anybody know anybody at Sharpie, Debbie could do some murals for Sharpie? That would be super cool. Okay, I’ll see you guys next week.

[00:43:19] See you with Mario. Another person that is. Balding or bald. It shaves a head, right? You have more hair than Mario, but you know that okay. [00:43:30] Yeah. Um, anyway, not that anything’s wrong with that, Mario. You know, we love you, um, . So I will see you guys next week and thanks for. Looking at my stuff. The end. Oops, I gotta hit stop.[00:44:00]